Don't Move Your Mountain. Change Your Landscape.
Anyone who tells you that life after weight loss is easy isn’t telling you the truth. Think about it this way - how many times have you lost weight, hit a goal and eventually gained it back? If you’re like me, it’s happened at least a few times. I vowed that this time would be different but I will be completely honest - there are days that are really, really tough.
The struggle is real. Even though I’ve lost over 100 lbs, I still revert back to some of my old habits from time to time. For example, when I’m stressed - I stop logging my food. I rationalize that I’m too busy to take the time to log my calories. I also try to convince myself that I’m tracking my calories in my mind and that it’s good enough. The truth is that it’s not good enough. The result? I go up a few pounds, get my reality check and get back on track. I start to log again and my weight goes back down.
There are a few healthy habits that stick with me - I always get some exercise and movement in everyday. Even on days when I don’t feel like going to the gym - I will go for a walk or do some sort of exercise regime at home. Exercise has become part of who I am now and I’m happy that it’s stuck with me.
The last few months have been very challenging for me. I have been under a tremendous amount of stress in my personal and my professional life. Things are good - nothing to worry about, but daily stressors seems to multiply like Tribbles some days - and lately it seems that my Tribbles have multiplied tenfold. The result is a higher than normal angst which usually translates into eating. I’m an emotional eater - I always have been and I always will be.
There was a part of me that thought that the weight loss would ‘cure’ that part of my relationship with food, but it hasn’t. Instead, the journey has given me the insight to realize when I am eating emotionally. In the past, I would go to food mindlessly and just eat - without stopping until I was beyond full. In today’s world, I actually stop and ask myself a few questions before I reach for the goodies that I so desperately think I want to eat. In those moments, I’ll ask myself a few questions:
Are you physically hungry or emotionally hungry?
Is that the best option for you at this time?
Are you thirsty?
Do you really, really need that?
There are times that I talk myself off the ledge and I put the food down, grab a hot tea and walk away. BUT, there are many other times that I say ‘screw it’ and I purposely chow down on trail mix or graham crackers and cool whip knowing that I am self sabotaging. In those moments, I just don’t care. Is it healthy? Likely not.
Does it work for me? For the time being, yes. For the long term, no.
I look at it this way - I can’t move a mountain, but I can change the landscape. Who I am at the core will never really change, but how I react to my stressors and my surroundings can, and they have - significantly. I don’t binge on thousands of calories anymore, I take a single serving of the food I want and then I walk away from the kitchen knowing that is all I’m going to allow myself to have. I parent myself differently and I take care of myself, trying to balance my needs with my wants. It’s not easy, and I sometimes trip over myself, but somehow, it works for me.
So there you have it, the honest truth from a former fat girl. Not everything is easier on the other side, BUT - the benefits of weight loss far outweighs the sacrifice. I am happier than I’ve ever been and more importantly, I’m really proud of myself for being able to stick with it.
If I can do it. So can you!
Bee healthy. Bee happy.