This was written in the fall of 2015...
I'm hungry today.
It's not a physical hunger, its an emotional hunger and I can tell the difference because my tummy is full but all I want to do is eat everything and anything in my house. It's been a trying and emotional week so I've resolved to lay on my couch, huddled under blankets binge watching Netflix in an attempt to cocoon myself from rest of the world. I need time to decompress and relax. I need some time just for me.
I'm allowing myself the opportunity to be a couch potato for a change, but instead of focusing on Orange is the New Black, my mind constantly shifts to those damn m&m's that sit so temptingly on the other side of the counter. I want to get up and eat the whole bag. Even though I've been successful in my weight loss so far, the desire to eat when I'm stressed or emotionally discontent is there, especially on days like today.
When I'm in this heightened state of emotion, I feel like an addict who is craving a fix.
I know where this is coming from, which is good. For the first time in a long time I'm able to reflect and understand the root cause of my feelings. This allows me to fully own them, accept them and feel proud of myself for putting the pieces of the puzzle together. This is a huge milestone for me. In the past, I'd just eat my feelings. Instead, I'm taking the time to think about why I'm feeling this way. I"m being good to myself.
The cause of my discontent isn't really important at this point.What matters is that I'm not allowing these feelings or this person have power over me. I am taking that power and I'm focusing it on me for a change. Now, that's pretty awesome.
I'm not going to allow anyone to impact my feelings or try to make me feel anything but happy. No one will sabotage my success. Not today, not tomorrow. Never again. Today, I'm going to pull myself together, refocus, get moving and bury this hunger somehow.
It's these little epiphanies that really make a difference!