I’ve been a bit nostalgic the last few weeks as 2 years ago this month, I started my weight loss journey. As I’m completely transparent, I’ll admit that at the time, I didn’t think that I would be successful. I had been overweight most of my adult life and yo-yo’d so many times that I felt like a failure; but then I would look in the mirror and I would feel sad.
I never really saw how big my body was. But, I saw my face and how old and tired it looked. I felt worn out and beaten down.
The prior years had been difficult. I went through a very challenging and difficult divorce and my focus was really on two things at that time: my kids and my job. I had to be sure that my kids were okay through the transition and I needed to ensure that I was performing at my best - even though I wasn’t feeling it. As the breadwinner of my family, I always had the strain of ensuring that we were financially secure and that my children were taken care of. Needless to say, I was stressed and drained emotionally, financially and physically. It was not an easy time for me.
We spent several weeks away from home that summer and taking that time from my day to day routine allowed me the opportunity to really think about my life and what I wanted. It gave me a chance to step outside my box and look at it objectively; by doing so, I realized several things:
I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t sure I knew how to be. That was scary.
I wasn’t healthy. I was on medication for a multitude of health issues and I understood that If I kept on this path then I would be dead before I hit my 60th birthday.
I needed to change but I was afraid of success and afraid of failure. I was just stuck.
I had a long path ahead of me and I was overwhelmed by the thought of taking that first step.
It was completely up to me. If I wanted to make changes, then I was going to have to initiate them, no one could do it for me.
I think the last one, was probably the hardest, because it was the first step. I spent a lot of time thinking and processing my action plan, while making small changes. What’s really interesting is that when I first started, I didn’t have to make a lot of change to see results. Just exercising a little everyday an giving up bagels for breakfast made a difference.
Overtime, I continued to change and that resulted in where I am today. Am I perfect? No. Do I still have more to lose? Yes. However, I’m happy with who I am today and that makes a key difference. I’m no longer ashamed to look in the mirror and see the woman looking back at me. For the first time in my life, I’m genuinely happy. I’m healthy (I’m not on ANY meds!) and I’m sticking with it. That’s how I know that if I can do it, you can do it too!
Bee healthy. Bee happy.